STAYING up late, some love it, others hate it. And for international student Uyen Ngyuyen Phuong, it’s time to “break up” after a long affair with the night owl.
Dear My Staying Up Late At Night Habit,
It has been a long time since we first met. As a kid, I slept with my mum and she always prevented me from seeing you. You became an enigma that I eagerly wanted to meet. I thirsted to explore the dark world when everyone was sleeping.
I met you in my teenage years, it was a pleasure to have a friend like you. You gave me more time to struggle on my assignments, to travel through an adventure movie or just simply waste time in the digital world. Whenever I stayed with a good ally like you, my mother never found out that I spent more time playing and wasting time than I did focusing on my studies.
It is difficult to express how much I love you because there are so many amazing things we did together that I can’t remember them all.
I’m 20 now and we have been good friends for years. There were people spreading rumours about you, saying you were a bad person who was friends with insomnia and other symptoms. But I didn’t believe them. I felt full of energy whenever I was with you.
I was in a spotlight of my own. I was reading something, writing something else, watching something. It didn’t matter because I always had you beside me.
I still remember the silent world that surrounded us when we were together. It was not a dead silence. Instead, the absence of people’s voices was filled with the white noise of my laptop and fan. It was the sound of vehicles kilometres away.
My room welcomed the Night in and his appearance darkened everything except for the light from my laptop and table lamp. I was in a spotlight of my own. I was reading something, writing something else, watching something. It didn’t matter because I always had you beside me. I thought you would be a friend for life.
One day, I realised that we were spending so much time together that I began to miss Sunshine – my old best friend. I decided to wake up early to meet her and feel the warmth from her arms.
You were so selfish. You always wanted to keep me for your own, my dear. I started to feel exhausted. I craved sleep and rest, but my eyes stared restlessly at the soulless wall above me – hour by hour, night by night. Insomnia was haunting me, leaving me with the feelings of depression and anger. I tried to ignore you, but I failed. Our friendship was falling apart.
I’m sorry I have to do this, but it’s time for us to say goodbye. I need to step out of the comfort zone you’ve created for me these past few years.
I’m sorry I have to do this, but it’s time for us to say goodbye. I need to step out of the comfort zone you’ve created for me these past few years.
I want something new that will be better for me, better for my health. It’s hard to get rid of something you’ve been keeping for so long. It’s the same for our relationship. I can’t suddenly stop seeing you, so I choose to gradually leave you. I will spend less hours playing with you day by day. I apologise for doing this. As my best friend, I hope you will understand and wish the best things for me as I always did for you.
I wish you many safe and sound nights.
Your friend,
Uyen
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