Little wounds that hurt the most

COLUMNIST Belinda Tan is back and she’s out to prove that the size of a wound doesn’t always equate to how much it hurts. 

Greetings, everyone! Now that exams are officially over, have you done your post exam dance? Are you nicer to your mom? Are you eating something else besides instant noodles? Has your stress hair deflated?

I have answered a resounding “yes!” to every question above, and I’ve even had some time to think about some of the heavy issues that affect citizens of all nations.

For instance, I’ve discovered that certain wounds that seem pathetically minuscule really have considerable impact on your body and mind. These are my top three:

1. Pimples

Dude, pimples are evil, okay? They’re so much more painful than they look (which is upsetting enough) and literally have no plus sides. It’s not like they look bad-ass enough for you to blame it on a motorcycle accident or a fist fight with a piranha. Also, have you ever had a facial where the lady ‘cleans them out’ and pinches you so hard in so many places your ass starts sweating? Then after all that trauma, they still hurt.

2. Mozzie bites
These don’t really hurt per se, but they occupy a huge portion of my attention and glaringly point out my lack of self-control, which always ends as a blow to my self-esteem. Also, does anyone else use their fingernails to imprint a cross onto the tiny bite? Next thing you know, it has grown into the shape of a giant crocodile farm? Yes? If you have, then you’ll know that mozzie bites are dictators. Just consider all the reasons above. Think about it. You know I’m right.

3. Paper cuts
Paper cuts are the most deceptive little liars ever. Sure, you’re just flipping through your favourite book and breathing in the smell of new pages like a normal person and then suddenly, PAPER CUT $@#!%$. How those little things taunt you! And it’s not like you can use a band-aid for a paper cut because then you’ll be a social pariah in a society that only uses band-aids for venomous bee stings and shark bites.

So now do you see what I’m saying? These little wounds hold a lot more power than we think and it’s not nice to make fun of them. Are you listening out there bullies?

Belinda Tan gets excited over smiley faces and creative ideas. In her spare time, she trains to be a Ninja, wonders about the genetic similarities between unicorns and rhinoceros and enjoys discovering new hiding places. She also sneezes in even numbers, doesn’t like coconuts and uses spell checker to spell rhinoceros. She also chronicles her adventures on her blog.

There is one comment

  1. vong

    Dear Belinda,

    You forgot toothaches 🙂 The most painful experience you can have while remaining conscious comes from one of the smallest structures in your body. They are infections as small as pimples but will make people feel like smashing their whole head against a wall, bring grown men to their knees and mothers swear they rather go through another pregnancy.

    Also with regards to unicorns and rhinoceros, add narwhals to the list :D.

Post Your Thoughts